FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE BY AGNES B. LEVINE!
Please take a few minutes this Season to read and follow this Blog Series on Mental Illness Recovery Success (knowledge, wisdom, tips, humor). Each Week a Part from this Series will be poste in the LOPnewsmag through January 1, 2017.
Part 1 appears below. Please start the conversations peacefully in your home, neighborhood, community, church assemblies.
#StopStigmaBy
Everyone please have a wonderful, safe, peaceful, and prosperous Holy-day Season! Amen.
PART I
ADHD, CHRONIC DEPRESSION, BIPOLAR DISORDER, POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER ~ Getting Your Family Through the Holy-Days ... (Repost/Copyright Protected)
I had to make time today for my very special loved ones as we get close to the big day ...no, not Thursday when President Obama signs Healthcare Reform legislation; that is now safely in God's hands.
This time, the important information is how to get through the Holy-days if you or a family member has a brain disorder, mental illness, or "issue?" Whether you or your child or your sister or your mate have a mental illness, there is a good, sound way to get through the Holy-days with the least amount of stress. I love these tips on how to survive family celebrations (they really work all year long, too) from
http://www.everydayhealth.com/…/special-... :
I join hundreds of others with experience in this regard who say the best, best way to survive the Holy-Days after you pray, is to plan, plan, plan, and then make a plan!
What Goes In Your Plan? :
1. Plan to have help
If at all possible, don't go it alone: If you do have a spouse or partner, etc., plan together so you can operate as a team. If you don't, enlist a relative or friend who is very supportive who doesn't have their own family plans to go along with. You'll have help and difficult family members are likely to be on better behavior when you have a clear ally. Make sure all medications have been given or are packed for the visit. A partner can tag team with you when the going gets rough with your (child), and you need a few minutes break. A partner can divert Auntie's intrusive questions by engaging her in conversation, and can be that extra pair of hands helping out with the festivities when you are busy with your (child), etc.
If YOU are Auntie, please don't pry at the family dinner. You should have been in contact alllll year long, but make it your kindness to make a phone call next week sometime. And don't ask how can you help if you don't mean it. Smile.;)-
If you are the person with depression, etc., make sure at least one person present at the celebration is aware of your special needs. This is YOUR support system when anxiety rises and you cannot think clearly. In my early days of recovery, my eldest daughter was my closest ally. She knew when to 'cover my back' so-to-speak and keep me from ruining everybody else's time because I was struggling for one reason or another.
Also, understand that environmental stimulants can cause people to stress, worry, and 'act out.' Sometimes, simply turning down the music makes a big difference. Please, please do not use a person with a special need as the ENERTAINMENT and we all know what that means. Feelings are hurt forever. amen? AMEN!
Maybe this year you can invite "Uncle George" to come out of his dark, stinky room and sit at the table for dinner -- at least prayer. Sometimes just asking can be the beginning of recovery. amen? Amen!;
2. Plan to capture at least one important moment
Identify what is bottom line the most important thing you want out of the day. Many special needs (kids) are on their best behavior for the first part of a visit. If there is someone you want to be sure to talk to, that's the time to make sure it happens. If you absolutely have to have a piece of Grandma's pumpkin pie, ask for a piece before dinner, give her that hug, and tell her how wonderful it is. If you have to leave suddenly, at least you will have had the one moment that means the most to you.
3. Plan for unwelcome family dynamics
Unless this is your first time out, it is not new information who in the family will be critical, who will be inappropriate, and who will use the one time you see them a year to try to corner you into a painful conversation. Think about the likely scenarios and develop a few key lines to divert these probably well-meaning but unhelpful folks.
If someone has (unwanted) advice? Tell them just how much you appreciate it but could they please e-mail you so you can give it proper attention?
If someone is critical? Let them know that you appreciate their concern and you will certainly think about what they've said.
If someone chooses the middle of dinner to tell you that they have a friend of a friend who is in exactly the same situation and they're handling it better? Suggest that they give you that person's phone number and pass the potatoes, please.
It is never helpful to debate, argue, or try to introduce new information when at a family event. Just find a way to acknowledge the offer and move on. You can decide later whether you want to answer the e-mail, take the advice, or make the phone call. If you have protective covering such as with my daughter, that person can handle your 'dirty' work politely for you while you enjoy the potatoes.
**LOPnewsmag will NOT publish this week due to Thanksgiving Day. LOPnewsmag will return December2, 2016, along with Part II of this Series. I am grateful for my family! Thank you. See ya next week. Agnes
Posted By: agnes levine
Wednesday, November 23rd 2016 at 3:49PM
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