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DEPRESSION AND THE HOLY-DAYS: Together We Can Do It! (779 hits)

In less than a week, Christmas Day will be upon us. It will be a special time when folks will open gifts and laugh and gather around the dinner table with friends and family! All kinds of delicious foods and treats will be passed around and for some, holiday cheer. There will be music playing and grown folks dancing with the kids. This sounds like the best day of the year and surely everybody is looking forward to it.

Well,,,,not everybody. This big holiday can actually be the worse day of the year for over 6 million people who battle with chronic depression. Chronic depression is the severe form of depression where medication and in most cases, psychotherapy, is necessary to combat its ill-affects.

With all that in mind, I thought I would send some special love to those who suffer from depression and those who love those living with depression. According to Dr. Hinda Dubin, Psychiatrist at the University of Maryland Medical Center, there are some tried and true ways of reducing holiday stress. Some of these I have tried myself and it works...even all year long. Take a look at these tips and try to incorporate them into this Holy-Day season and enjoy Christmas Day with everyone else.

(1) Plan ahead!
Dr. Dubin suggests planning the day in advance rather than just going with the flow. This will also allow you to see how to control YOUR day and not end up where you feel horrible and uncomfortable and pressured and stressed.

(2) Set realistic Goals.
Dr. Dubin suggests making a list of things you want to do and put the items into categories. The most important activities should be under "A." The next important ones under "B." The least important ones under "C."

I like this one because EVERYTHING you list under "C" gets immediately, IMMEDIATELY crossed off the list. (If you are putting in-laws under "C," don't share your list with spouse). Of course, because the battle is against depression, all alcohol items should be listed under "C" and now just work with A and B. Try to stick to at least three activities under each category of A and B, but be flexible so that a "B" item can end up an "A" item and an "A" item can be postponed (we still gotta get through the New Year and Innauguration Day--smile).

BE absolutely sure that under both categories, you list time for yourself to rest.

(3) It's alright to think about things that bother you!
When planning ahead, allow time to think about things that make you sad such as perhaps the passing of a loved one or lost job or that whopping electric bill. HOWEVER, do NOT obssess over it. Think about it and feel the moment and then move on to brighter things to think about and enjoy your day. Also, remembering loved ones is a and should be a happy ocassion. Maybe sharing stories of loved ones who have passed or setting out a keepsake of their memory to add brightness to the day!

(4) Find ways to help others.
One of the happiest times in anybody's life is helping someone else. No matter how low we feel, there is always somebody who is less fortunate. Share some Christmas joy with that someone. Get involved in a church event reaching the poor on Christmas. Volunteer at a food shelter or bread pantry or dropping off toys to less fortunate families. Helping others is one sure way to help yourself and boost your mood. Actually, I love doing this because it is true that helping others boosts your mood. My heart is full of joy bringing these tips to you and your loved ones.:)

(5) Do NOT isolate yourself!
This can be hard when you want to hug that sofa on Christmas Day and or stay in bed away from the rest of the family. However, Dr. Dubin says that's a no-no this Christmas so I will see you at the dinner table. Smile.

(6) Seek Professional Help!
If your depression is severe and chronic, you need some form of medication and therapy. You cannot simply pull yourself together and it is not a sign of weakness. Please do yourself and your loved ones a favor and seek professional mental healthcare as your very special Christmas/Kwanzaa gift to yourself. A few sites to contact are: the National Alliance on Mental Illness at www.nami.org; Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance at www.DBSAlliance.org; the International Foundation for Research and Education on Depression at www.ifred.org; and www.wingsofmadness.com.

(7) Do Things Differently!
Dr. Dubin has given us all permission to do things differently this year. That means instead of moaning and groaning over hosting the family dinner (shopping, cooking, etc.) announce (politely) that dinner arrangements will be elsewhere or delegate chores and dishes. (YIPPIE) If this is too late for you this year, announcing that next year will be different is a secondary blessing that will make you feel equally good (relieved).

(8) Avoid Family Drama!
Dr. Dubin has a better way of saying not to invite drama at the dinner table, but I know you understand just as well. It is alright to postpone family squabbles until after the Holy-Days when everyone is diffused (sober). Guard your home against drama fiercely! Remember the 'he said, she said game?' It will stress you out unnecessarily for days and that is just so not the spirit of Jesus. Practice how you will divert drama because we know realistically it can just happen. Also, don't mentally plan to set somebody straight once and for all at the dinner table. Smile. (Remember the children...)

(9) NO DRINKING/DRUGS!

(10) Exercise is one of the best ways to improve your mood. Work a 10-minute exercise routine into your morning. Take a quick and brisk walk. Outdoors is phenominal to uplifting moods and especially if your hosting dinner and will not otherwise get a chance to enjoy the outdoors.

Ok, now we are armed and ready to have the best Christmas ever! If you find the energy, please let me know how you enjoyed your Holy-Day!

Agnes B. Levine
Author of: "Cooling Well Water: A Collection of Work By An African-American Bipolar Woman" ISBN 0975461206 Winter 2009 Release Pending
www.myspace.com/coolingwellwater (Subscribe Now)

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Posted By: agnes levine
Saturday, December 20th 2008 at 9:14PM
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This is a nice post, though, in my case, it isn't helpful. (Sorry) This time of year evokes memories of death, dispair, and mourning. Being broke doesn't help either, especially when the car has broken down. Things seem to fall apart ... and it gets worse with each passing day.
Sunday, December 21st 2008 at 11:50AM
Lesley Knight

Volunteer at your local shelter,on Christmas Day- guaranteed to elevate your mood.
Good post and Number 4 always works-=for Christians anyway!! and we are on the same page Aggie, I saw "help to hers" and I knew the rest, then I went up and read it and I said the same thing you said! Too busy to be depressed when you concentrate on other people's needs and not your own. It's easier to sit home and feel the sadness instead of going out and enveloping one's self in feeling the gladness! you know " I was complaining ,about my shoes, until I saw someone that had no feet."
Sunday, December 21st 2008 at 12:18PM
Marta Fernandez

Wow, Marta, that's powerful and absolutely true! It wasn't until I worked at a soup kitchen that I understood the power of volunteering. Spiritually, it is phenominal!

Leslie, I pray that you seek peace beyond your pain. I cannot say I walked in your shoes, but losing my father two weeks before Thanksgiving was the most painful experience of my life. I feared the holidays, but I found the healing power of Jesus and I pray you do too. Grief counseling is one of the best therapeutic events of my life that helped me to understand that at times it is alright to cry, hurt, be angry, etc. I can truly attest that I I have more joyful memories and feelings because I kept and keep him alie in my heart. I feel his spirit sometimes when I am struggling and still 8 years later, I sometimes just breakdown and cry because I miss him soooo much. Then I will suddenly remember how he would say firmly, "Don't give up, Aggy." and I laugh andpull myself together. Then my world picks up and I can keep moving. Grief is normal. It is suppose to hurt and make you sad at times. If it is persistent and chronic, you may need counseling. If you are already in a program, gie it time and you will deliver yur own testimony. Each heart is different. Each person is different. However, God is the same! Please lean on Him for a peaceful and joyful Holy-Day.
Sunday, December 21st 2008 at 2:27PM
agnes levine

Good counseling--I have already seen 5 posts lamenting Chistmas..I am not going to comment..because Aggie I think you have a lot of fortitude and words of comfort to offer.

If I had a sad Christmas,guess what? I don't remember because I have made a concerted effort not to be depressed on holidays or Christmas. The same creativity I pursue in other areas of my life I apply as well. One birthday, that I do remember I was alone in Vegas, with my 2 munchkins--so I pamperd myself..baths, foods, and meditated and prayed..how is that for the use of the word pampering? rested or lounged and enjoyed my day, I remember how GOOD I felt--no pity, no recriminations, no wishing, no wanting --but you are so right Aggie, No two people are alike and we internalize our issues differently.

Keep a truly humble and positive spirit--that is how my Thanksgiving turned out to be such a warm surprise this year when I got the invite to the concert--and though we did not have a turkey, I ended up at a Turkey dinner anyway!

You want to know about positivity? how about my mom..93-years-old and blind. I just am so amazed,humbled and filled with compassion for her--through it all she maintains a smile on her face,always says "thank you" you know GOD is Blessing this woman.

Everyday, every single day saying thank you for the things that she is offered or asks for from her sometimes cranky-caregiver daughter..no mom is the bomb..I can't even compare to her..but I try --I am learning from my mom, still at my age.

Acceptance of the things you cannot change, humility in accepting the destiny God has granted us, and Forgiveness to ourselves for not planning better!!

Hmm...I think I will write that last one down, it just poured out of me..God Bless.

Acceptance brings peace so I see..not resignation. Because she is still hoping to regain some sight. Regardless of the damage to the optical nerve which is "supposed" to be permanent. Neither she nor I are accepting that,but we accept that she may not ever see again. We don't dwell on it, and this is the first time I have even spoken those words. After all weren't a lot of the miracles that Jesus performed on the blind?
Sunday, December 21st 2008 at 2:52PM
Marta Fernandez

Yes, AMEN! I remember all the time how my doctors told my family to commit me to a mental institution and move on with their lives-----!!!!!
Sunday, December 21st 2008 at 3:31PM
agnes levine