I was responding to a blog about teens who use drugs and how to stop the baffling addiction of our youth. I wanted to share my response with each of you because this happens in so many of our families. When we deny something is "wrong" with us, we are really denying help for our children, too.
One of the keys to the mystery about substance abuse, and especially in our culture, is that a dual illness exists.
We do not like to think of our mental behaviors as results of "disorders or illnesses," but if we are to seriously attack the 'disease' of addiction, we must look at the true causes.
When we struggle with Bipolar/depression, as a culture we do what we can to keep it moving on our own. Our children pick up on this incorrect way of dealing with the painful depression and then they internalize their anger.
The lows of depression cause individuals to seek "highs." That means that when we are depressed, we want something to make us feel good. Self-medication is the technical term for the act of using drugs or alcohol under these circumstances. We are the creator of circumstances in our families. Since our teens cannot change their circumstances over time gradually, they choose quick fixes for the remedy. They learn to self-medicate, too!
We know that drugs are in our community for the quick fixes. We do not take the necessary corrective action of the mental illness that drives substance use and abuse. The more we are empowered about Bipolar/depression, we can prevent the debilitating and devastating effects of substance abuse. Correcting one problem before it becomes a dual problem takes investment.
We must begin to take that first step in our homes by investing in the state of the mind caused by circumstances (poverty, domestic violence, molestation, hunger, drugs/alcohol, etc.). What do you do after a tough day at work and come home to a refridgerator with little or no food? Are you snappy with your children because you are worried or depressed about bills piling up? Are you sick of your husband laying around the house instead of looking for work? What about when the unemployment check has not arrived yet and the mortgage or rent is due? Just think about your behaviors and moods around the house under these circumstances.
Now, your child is watching you. He or she is picking up on your energy. They, too, are becoming stressed. They go outside to play or hang out with friends to get away. What's outside those doors in your community?
I am encouraged to keep educating our culture about mental illness and I encourage each of us to step up to the plate as well because if we spend our lives with untreated brain disorders, we pass that on to our future through our children.
My "CALL" is my book "Cooling Well Water: A Collection of Work By An African-American Bipolar Woman" (ISBN 13 978-0-9754612-0-4). In this book, I disclose the step-by-step journey I took to cope and manage my brain disorder diagnosis, Bipolar. When I became diagnosed with this brain disorder, I was in a psychiatric hospital due to a nervous breakdown. I was married to a crack-cocaine user at the time. The fights over money, food, s*x, bills, women, binges, etc. became too much for me to handle mentally and emotionally although no one could have told me that and if they did, I would have argued them down and, of course, I denied anything was wrong with me, him, our family.
If any of this sounds familiar, then honestly you know your kids are hurting, too. What can you do about it?
Well, my story is that by the time I began to take charge of the brain disorder by taking my medications as prescribed and removing my ex-husband from the house and putting my family back together, one of my children had run-away three times and missed (hooked) 45 days of school. Drugs and alcohol had already made its entry.
Think about it, if mama has an untreated brain disorder such as depression or Bipolar and she always 'got' drama in the house. The child will develop the strong need to escape the 'crazy' household and seek refuge of peace, fun, stability, etc. He or she will then venture into the community. If all the other kids are out there 'escaping' family drama and have free time, they end up with some type of drugs to entertain them for a few laughs and forget their troubles at home. We know those few "hits" are the gateway to hell. But NOBODY at home is paying attention to the signs of the child calling out for help until it results in failing school, criminal activity/arrests, teen pregnancy, AIDS/HIV, teen suicide, etc.
If we can get mama help to deal with the root of her problem that rests with pulling her out of depression or stabilizing her "flighty" behaviors by offering her a seed of hope (treatment) and building on that with information, supports, and services, the drama in the home will subside and the mind will clear up and the family can move to organization, peace, love, etc.
Children mimic what they see and they accept it as the way of life in the world. If they see mental healthcare in the home, the stigmas will eventually come down as they see the benefits from the care. They, too, will learn the positive benefits of correcting depression, stabilizing Bipolar, etc. and take that into their future to continue a legacy of fruitfullness and break the cycle of mental illnesses. Addiction is a mental illness, too. Prevention is the key.
What can you do to take the first step to getting your family in order? You can seek a wellness plan and professionally licensed coach with Dr. Moore-Sanders. Take a few minutes and visit Ariafya.com. Please. Do it for the children.
Agnes B. Levine
Founder/President, Levine-Oliver Publisher
www.levineoliverpublisher.com, Facebook me! or E-mail me at coolingwellwater@aol.com
Author of: "Cooling Well Water: A Collection of Work By An
African-American Bipolar Woman" ISBN 13 978-0-9754612-0-4
Available NOW at
www.levineoliverpublisher.com or Amazon.com
Posted By: agnes levine
Sunday, April 19th 2009 at 8:36AM
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